The Cops (Band)
---- DISCLAIMER *The events of this page are entirely fictional and are written in an in-universe tone. *The original intention of this article is for it to be satirical. *The original conception of this article was formed during Official Chat Thread days. There is little to no connection with the OTter community. ---- The Cops were an OTter rock band formed in General Off Topic in 2011. For the vast majority of their history, the band consisted of Ghastkin (bass, lead vocals), Corvo (Guitar), and Tef (Drums). The Cops generally seen as the first newer wave band to reach gobal popularity and sucessm playing a style that was influence by pop-punk Christian-punk, cod-reggae, and white-jazz. Career Formation After the demise of the OTter reggae metal band Bent Air, the band's drummer, Polish citizen Tef, was bored and wanted to form a super group consisting of a Jimi Hendrix styled guitarist, John Entwistle like bassist, Neil Peart wannabe drummer, Frank Iero dopplegander rythm guitarist, Rick Wakeman influenced keyboardist, Louis Armstrong trained trumpet player, and a Skrillex type of guy. He then found out he didn't have the money or social skills to form such a band so he settled on trying to from a three piece group and bandwagoning on the OTter Christian-punk scene. Bit was a teacher's pet and grave robber who played in white-jazz bands. In early 2011 the two came together at a 18+ club they snook into and decided to from a post-sadcore-krautrock band with guitarist KANArbalist. For the first few days the band interrupted school assemblies to play. Their first single "Jump In" was recored with a budget of $5 in a mall employees only washroom the next week. Later that month, the threesome barged into an in progress gig where met guitarist Corvo who was playing for the Mammals. Shortly afterwards Corvo crashed his car into the Tim Horton's drive-thru where Tef was eating smiley cookies at. Sensing Bit CAN'T GET NO SATISFACTION from KANArbalist's lame guitar skills and the fact he now need money for repairs for his mom's car, Corvo proposed to Tef to join the band on the condition they remain a trio and that him and Bit should watch more Toonami. Restrained by loyalty to KAN, both Tef and Bit resisted the idea, and the Cops began performaning as a quartet at hipster bars. Shortly after a couple gigs and a rejected recording session, KAN was informed he was banned from the band. The line-up of Tef, Bit, and Corvo was an unusual trio but would endure for the rest of their history. Their brown hair would become a trademark of the band due to an unlucky incident. Bit convinced that the band would have more of an image if they were blond and made the band go out together to bleach their hair at a Joj's Hair Salon. When they finished, Corvo attempted to back up from their parking spot but instead accelerated and crashed the car into the store's brown dye machine. This incident also made Joj's hair darker. Chatters d'Amour Tef's mom didn't like Corvo fearing he would make the band try drugs which would probably ruin their musically abilities so she refused to lend the band $3000 dollars to finance the band's first album and to buy a lighter. Chatters d'Amour was a hardship for the band, working with the scarce money they made selling bags of suger to dumb teenagers, with no manager or record deal. It was recorded in a janitors closet of a Wicker Emporium. During one her visits to drop off smiley cookie snack for Tef, his mom heard their song "Boxing" for the first time at the end of the session and immediately got them a record deal with M&M (Mapping and Modding)Records. Release in 2011 it was not as big as a hit. The two of the album's singles were banned in Off-Topic for profanity, Boxing because of it used the words " right hooker" in it, and Squidward's Suicide because it featured blood on the single artwork. The band eventually did a makeshift tour around Minecraft Dicussion in support for the album. Reggatta de Idiot Reggatta de Idiot was released a month after the tour, it was a major sucess in Off-Topic with number one singles "Status on Facebook" and "Burning on the sun." The instrumental track "Reggatta de Idiot" won an award for Most Over the Top Rock Performance. The Cops began their first world tour where they played in unusal plays such as Mapping & Modding, Servers, News, and Forum Discussion & Info. In an interview with Halo Fanboy Magazine, Tef declared Reggatta to be the Cops "Bestest record." Zenhjkhauhfdta Monaadahklfhjkladta Pressured by their record company for a new record, return to tour, and less car crashes, the Cops released their thrid album Zehjkhauhfdta Monaadahklfhjkladta in early 2012. The album gave the group thrid #1 hit, Please Stand So Close to Me, Bit was inspired to write the track after viewing some of Corvo's Anime collection. Another hit single, Ge Go Go Go, Ge Ga Ga Ga, also came from this ablum. Both tracks reached No. 10 in Minecraf Discusson. The album recieve high praised from CitricSquid. The instrumental "On My Bed" written by Corvo won the band an award for Most Over the Top Instrumental, beating Push's YHZ, Push fans to this day hate the Cops. Wraith in the Computer The Cop's forth album, Wraith in the Computer, was recorded in the tropica islands of the Curse Prenium Section. This album featured darker songs and tubas. It spawned hit singles such as Every Little Thing She Posts is Crap, Visible Moon, and Ghosts in the Machine World. The band was unable to decide on cover so Tef's mom make a knitted sweater featuring the band members faces and took picture of it with Iphone and passed it on as cover. After the Wraith in the Computer tour, the three decided to pursue outside projects, Tef did a Halo LP, Corvo took pictures of good looking people, and Bit did some acting gigs, they're awful. Synchronized Swimming The Cop's final album, Synchronized Swimming, was their biggest seller. It spawned great hits such as I'm a Stalker, Coiled Around Your Thigh, King of Cocaine, and Swimming II. During the recording of I'm a Stalker, Bit and Tef went into many fights about the simplistic drum beat which Tef describes as 'Worst than Ringo.' They had many physical, vocal, and Call Of Duty fights while Corvo just watched 18+ Anime, the album was almost scrapped because of this. The Cops eventually had a Synchronized Swimming tour, in which Bit wore clothes that made him look like a douche bag, well an even bigger one. Disband After the tour Bit gave the other two member the finger and stole Corvo's mom's car but crashed due numerous crashes beforehand and a sticky steering wheel and gear shift. Later they got back together to do a sell out remix of Please Stand So Close to Me. The night before recording Tef broke his arm in a rage moment after he died for the 17th time in a GTA mission. This prevented him from playing drums on the track so they resorted to computerized drums. The recording process took over 3 weeks because of Bit and Tef's arguments wether or not they should use Garage Band or FreeSound.org for the drums. Corvo recalls the process being a "complete disaster~" and that "the remix was disconnected from the sexual perversion of the original~" Bit however thinks the song was a "mA$73RP1c3" and that "73F and C0RU0 jus d@n7 l1k3 C#@n93!" They also recorded a remix of Ge Go Go Go, Ge Ga Ga Ga, which Bit wanted to release but after listening to the final product, Tef and Corvo buried it in the garden so Bit couldn't find it unless he reads this. The recording of these remixes did not help bring back the Cops so they secretly disbaned afterwards. Reunion Tour After a few months, Bit was greedy for more rep, so he convinced Corvo and Tef to do a reunion tour. The two agreed only because they wanted more rep as well. The tour was a massive sucess and went on to be one of the biggest tours of all time along with B4's 360 No Scope tour. Music Style The Cop's music style is often described as a mix betwen pop-punk, Christian-punk, cod-reggae, and white-jazz. Bit was a teacher's pet so he often looked at his teacher's texts when she wasn't looking, some of these texts were inspirations for songs, but they often don't mean anything. Members *Bit (Ghastkin)- Lead vocals, bass (2011-2013) *Tef- Drums, vocals (2011-2013) *Corvo- Guitars, vocals (2011-2013) *KANArbalist- Guitars (2011) Category:Trends